This is the third part of a series on rocking your audience at whatever stage you’re at. As we go through each stage, I’d love to discuss it like crazy and do some q&a before moving on to the next one. So got comments? Leave ‘em. I’ll be adding everyone who participates to the Twitter list so that we can keep up with each other.

I have never actually seen a peanut tree. [Update: This is probably because they do not exist! Google #fail.] But in my head, I imagine it growing, growing. And then the time for harvest comes, and the peanuts are falling all over the place. Actually, it’s raining peanuts. Your neighbor is screaming at you to get them off her lawn (or maybe it’s just my whacko neighbor, but that’s a story for another day).

Let’s imagine that those peanuts are your community. The ones who built your blog into a poppin’ place to be. The ones who bought your products when you thought no one would. The ones who said exactly the thing you needed to hear when you were convinced that you were the suckiest [whatever your job is] on the planet.

You literally prayed for peanuts for months, years even. And now you have them. (Some are even growing into little trees and are sharing their harvest with you…fun!) You have a couple of options.

Option 1: Walk the red carpet

Smile. Wave. Have red velvet ropes surrounding you so that people can’t get too close. Of course, the right people can get close. The ones with all of the fame and fortune. The ones who are useful to you in some way.

Ugh. I know we would never ever do this intentionally. But ask the guy whose last 5 @ replies on twitter you haven’t responded to. Ask the girl who emailed you twice to tell you how much you rocked her world with that thing you did. Those people would probably put you in the category of “individuals who obviously don’t care that I exist”. You’re a rockstar, all right. And you’ve got the elusiveness to prove it.

Option 2: Shake hands with everyone if it kills you

You can choose to have a mission. You will answer every tweet. Every email. Every phone call and facebook tag. You can hire a VA (or two) to help you with the massive amount of communication that is happening. You can choose to be a paragon of inclusiveness…at a cost. Huzzah for inclusivity!

Huzzah for exhaustion and trying to do the impossible! Oh wait. That’s not a huzzah. That’s a big boo. So what’s a bonafide social web-lovin’ rockstar to do?

Option 3: Dive into the mosh pit

There’s a certain amount of trust involved when you jump into a mosh pit. A certain amount of putting yourself out there in full. You’re not engaging with everyone, but you’re engaging with the people who have taken the effort to put themselves on your front row. You take the effort with the people who are genuinely taking the effort with you.

You might not answer every form of communication known to man (hello…voicemail plain sucks), but you have your favorite ways of keeping in touch on an individual basis (DMs, anyone?). If you set those expectations up ahead of time, you’re much less likely to make people feel thisbig.

Gwen Bell is a perfect example of someone who nails the community thing. There’s a good reason I talk this woman up a storm. She’s smart. She’s insightful. And despite her celebrity status, she is one of the most grounded people I’ve ever met. You know those super-laser goggles everyone has that can tell how “important” a person is? I don’t think she has them. She makes up her own rules about who is worth listening to. She’s an empty cup. I asked her how she keeps up with the high demands on her time, and she said:

First: check in with yourself frequently. Ask: how is my energy? Choose to respond to inbox x y or z based on that.

If high energy. Spend it on creation, new endeavors & open loops. Action items. If low. Spend it approving comments, reading blogs, or go do something non-tech.

Also. As you “get embiggened” trust it doesn’t always have to be public. Know when to DM, shift to email, bring it closer to the heart.

(By the way, Gwen is involved in a new online project called The Mindfulist — daily prompts on mindfulness. I’m getting involved on my personal blog. I’m predicting a movement here, people.)

A couple more ideas to mull over: (and I’m certainly open to new ones in the comments…I’ve definitely got a lot to learn in this area)

  • Twitter lists – I am a HUGE fan of Twitter lists. I have both public and private lists to keep track of more than people who tweet great stuff. I keep track of people who comment regularly on the blog. People who I want to get to know better. I make sure to take a special interest to the people who are interested in me. If I’ve got to choose who I’m going to spend my time with, I’ll choose people who are feelin’ the mutual love.

  • Highrise (or another relationship management system) – “Relationship management” is the worst term I have ever heard. Can someone please change it? But they’re actually really cool. I can forward encouraging emails to Highrise, and it keeps track of it for me. It’ll show me people I haven’t talked to in a month. It helps me to remember details about people that I don’t want to forget. (It can also allow you to be extremely anal about information-collecting, but don’t give up on it for that reason alone.) Highrise is really useful for helping me to keep my relationships alive and well.

  • Email policy – Email is incredibly invasive because it’s so easy to send. I can send it from anywhere. I can send it anonymously. If I’m feeling extra-spicy, I can send emails to thousands of people at once. You don’t have to answer all of your emails. Really, you don’t. But if you choose to go that route, let people know about it. And give them some other way to contact you that you’re more comfortable with. (“If you really want to get in touch with me, write a blog post about Alaskan elephants! Then DM me the link, along with your email address. I’ll be sure to respond right away!”) Just kidding…about the elephants.

  • Office hours – Maybe you’re on Skype every other Wednesday from 1 to 3 for an open chat with anyone who wants to drop by. A no-holds-barred, “I’ll talk to anyone” session. I mean, wouldn’t it be cool if someone you adored did this? Like…Oprah. What if Oprah skyped on Wednesdays? Just sayin’. I would totally go.

I don’t think this “figuring out how to stay in community with everyone” is purely relegated to the internet-famous, but the issue is certainly a bigger deal the more well-known you become. Do you have any systems in place for keeping connected to your community? Pigeons, maybe?