I am a love machine

Really, I am. I thrive on love in all forms. Online love. Offline love. Love for my work, love for other people’s work. Love is my favorite.

I think we’re all little walking love machines. It would be cool if we had glowy hearts on our chests that we could push to disseminate and receive the love we need. When we’re feeling low, our glowy heart would be dim. And then everyone would fill us up until we were day-glow bright again.

Gwen Bell posted this video a few weeks ago, and it’s one of those that I’m finding myself going back to over and over.

If you don’t have time to watch the whole thing, pay attention to 9:22 to 14:45. It talks about how technology has moved our society to a place where we’re seeking trust, meaning, and quality of life over our previously-held values of privacy, constant availability, and ease of use. Our use of technology has made us feel isolated and alone (our glowy hearts are dim!), and now we’re using it to foster meaningful connection.

So what does that mean for us?

I’ve been a pioneer in content-driven websites. Now that people are starting to get that, I’m paying attention to new practices that are solving some of the challenges we face with the content-driven model. It’s not good enough to be a pioneer. You have to know where things are going.

I like to watch people who have been online for a good while to sense the direction of where things are headed. When we’re new to working online, we tend to over-indulge in all of the candy. (But the candy! It might disappear! Must. eat.) But the more seasoned folks among us have over-indulged, under-indulged, and eventually come to a point of investing their time in the things that have longevity. Things I’m noticing now:

  • A general repulsion for the exploitation of relationships. We’re funny and real and so transparent. We’ve gotten rid of the corporate lingo and have become comfortable being ourselves. Which is great. But if that becomes another marketing gimmick, we are sickened beyond belief. Which makes sense, given our society’s deepest needs are for trust, security, and meaning. Bad things happen when our deepest needs are exploited.
  • Stepping up what we publish. Sick of excessive information and searching for real meaning, we are starting to take our content more seriously. Makes complete sense, and I’m glad it’s happening. Sometimes first drafts are okay to publish, but what would happen if we treated our work as art? What would happen if we polished and shimmied and shined everything we put out there, even to the detriment of frequency?
  • Respecting when people disconnect. Our technology-free days are becoming intentional. We do not lose credibility when we disappear to work on our art. Rest is beginning to be respected.
  • Instantly recognizing marketing cliches. Remember your favorite English teacher’s definition of cliche? Anything you’ve heard once. And it’s becoming even truer in online marketing. It is now so important to put on our horse-blinders and create strategy that is just ours.
  • Having launch fatigue. Marissa Bracke wrote an extremely timely article on this last week. When our relationships with people online become 85% about what we’re launching or what other people are launching, we’re bound to get tired of all of the launching. It’s starting to happen, folks. Which is another reason to put on those blinders and do something no one else is doing. Including launching like no one else is launching.
  • Appreciating the chopping block. We are tired of sifting through information. We want carefully edited direction. Instead of googling, we ask people on Twitter for their recommendations. When we visit a website, we don’t want everything in the sidebars — just a selection of what’s most important and useful. Instead of an exhaustive list of books on marketing, we would rather have Ted’s top five. It’s not enough to be simple. We want hand-picked. If you build a reputation of hand-picking the best stuff and chopping off the rest, people will come to you as a trusted resource.
  • Going back to professionalism (a little). When we tossed out corporate crap, we tossed out a lot of…crap. But there was also a lot of good stuff that went out with the trash. Like quality. Just because it’s personal, doesn’t mean that we can shill crap (read Amy Hoy’s excellent article on this…and don’t worry. She informs me that it’s Nutella.). We need quality photography. Quality writing. Quality packaging. Quality products. If we’re going to continue to flourish in the online space, we can’t become known for over-priced, over-hyped crap.

So that’s what I’ve been thinking about while I’ve been being quiet. Love, crap, and sandwiches. Also, that LiteSites are back from vacay. And I’ve hired two people who I love and who you will meet very soon. And also that I need to hire a third, but I’m not a fan of being too big for my britches.

Love. To you.

17 Responses to I am a love machine
  1. Mark Silver
    June 3, 2010 | 9:54 am

    Um. May I just say, “Amen?” Amen.
    Mark Silver´s last blog ..How to Organize Sales Pages to Avoid Overwhelm

  2. Dave
    June 3, 2010 | 10:33 am

    Hi Sarah,

    Great post! I like the way all these points outline a slower, more reflective approach to working online. As a reader I’m quite happy to get less posts and more quality.

    Reading a daily barrage of ‘ten ways to do this’, ‘five ways to do that’ posts quickly becomes the online equivalent of mindlessly eating potato chips.

    The launch that sparked Marrisa’s post seems to have cracked things open a bit, too. And that’s a good thing.
    Dave´s last blog ..The Rarest Angels

  3. Sarah Bray
    June 3, 2010 | 11:46 am

    Thank you, Mark. Yes, you can. :)

    And Dave, you’re right. It’s like we’ve been participating in this flamboyant online flash dance, and we’re starting to take our work and ourselves more seriously. I personally like the shift.
    Sarah Bray´s last blog ..I am a love machine

  4. Gwen Bell
    June 3, 2010 | 11:47 am

    Like you, I find myself returning to that video. Turning it over with a hoe, using it as mulch in daily life. I now pull back more frequently to evaluate the wheat/chaff ratio.

    Yesterday during an interview I was asked my “go-to sources” on the web. The answer is: it changes daily. The answer is that it’s not the big names. The one-stop-get-it-all-here!!-shops. I prefer a boutique approach to the web. I engage with (and aim to create/share) the hand-crafted, well-executed stories. I want the Sarah J Brays and the Liz Francos and the Amy Hoys. I am grateful that such high quality exists on the web and is mine for the consuming.

    Here’s the thing though, my cup is full by the end of each day. I have to walk away from the computer for 12-14 hours to really empty that cup. After a conference I might need a full 24-48 hours to get back to that “empty cup” place. It takes self-awareness to know 1) how to empty the cup 2) when to empty the cup and 3) that there’s even a cup that needs to be emptied. That’s where discernment and mindfulness come in.

    I think through gentle daily exploration, ritual emptying of our cups and mindfulness practice on and off the web we eventually achieve that “Wisdom Worker” state to which Linda refers.

  5. Fabeku Fatunmise
    June 3, 2010 | 11:48 am

    You nailed it.

    I felt this in my gut. In that there’s real truth here kind of way.

    And this line:

    …but what would happen if we treated our work as art?

    I actually whacked my desk with my hand in an (overly?) enthusiastic YES!

    It really feels like time to start rethinking a few things. Individually and collectively.

    And this post is full of juicy nuggets to support the aforementioned rethinking.

    Thanks x 100.
    Fabeku Fatunmise´s last blog ..You Are Not Broken

  6. Hiro Boga
    June 3, 2010 | 12:03 pm

    Sarah, yes! Our hearts are hungry for real nourishment, online and off. Art, creativity, presence–this is real nourishment.

    We are creators of the internet, not just consumers of it. So let’s become sources of those qualities we want to experience more of, through our websites, blogs, and online presence.

    Thanks so much for this thoughtful post!

    xo Hiro
    Hiro Boga´s last blog ..In the Center of My Ribs…

  7. Mahala Mazerov @luminousheart
    June 3, 2010 | 12:05 pm

    True and wonderful. I’d like to steal your first paragraphs for my site but my glowy heart goes dim at the word steal.

    I hope you’re right. About all of it. Most of life moves far to fast for me. Gwen’s empty cup is my full one.
    Mahala Mazerov @luminousheart´s last blog ..Testing the Benefits of Meditation… in the Emergency Room

  8. Tara
    June 3, 2010 | 1:42 pm

    Yes! Recognizing the marketing cliches works WITH the launch fatigue.
    I’m not annoyed that new things are launching, I’m annoyed that they all have the *exact* same pattern!

    Thanks for spelling out all the random bits floating around in my head :)
    Tara´s last blog ..Hello! Welcome!

  9. Molly Hoyne
    June 3, 2010 | 4:55 pm

    I’ve got nothing new to add to this amazing post, except that I wanted push your love button a few times in appreciation.

    Making some new choices with the direction I’m going and this post, and that video, are on my resources list.

    Bomb diggity. Thanks Sarah.
    Molly Hoyne´s last blog ..Chasing Away The Black Cloud

  10. Rachael
    June 3, 2010 | 5:30 pm

    You’ve managed to say all the stuff I’ve been thinking about, except better and with more awesome details.

    Thanks for posting this – I’ll be re-reading it a few times.

  11. Marissa Bracke
    June 3, 2010 | 5:33 pm

    I’m glad this post exists.

    I tried to think of a less corny way to say it, but that’s the simplest way of saying it: I’m glad it exists. I’m glad you wrote it. It’s flipping wonderful.

    This is more than just 7 solid bullet-points: you’ve succinctly articulated some core truths for Where We’re Headed Next. E.g., “What would happen if we polished and shimmied and shined everything we put out there, even to the detriment of frequency?” Be still my quality-adoring heart. “It’s not enough to be simple. We want hand-picked.” Nail, hit on head. “If we’re going to continue to flourish in the online space, we can’t become known for over-priced, over-hyped crap.” PRECISELY.

    Lest I continue rah-rahing like an overcaffeinated cheerleader line by line through your post, I’ll close with a heartfelt thank you for this post. I really am grateful it–and you–exist in this world.
    Marissa Bracke´s last blog ..Riding the Entrepreneurial Coaster: Eyes Open & Exhale

  12. Catherine Caine
    June 3, 2010 | 5:54 pm

    Yay Sarah! Glad you’re back.

    Can I add that doing it the way you’re talking about is a bucketload more FUN? You can dance with your Twitter followers and jump with glee about what you’ve made.
    Catherine Caine´s last blog ..Give what you want to receive

  13. @TheGirlPie
    June 3, 2010 | 10:26 pm

    Damn you Sarah Bray ~ !

    JUST when I was POISED to become Queen of the Relationship Exploiters, belching products willy-nilly while my minions wear GirlPie wigs and tweet in public 24/7 collecting email addresses –

    HOW DARE you ruin my top-secret pre-launch plans for the most awesome-ever, life-saving, billionaire-making eBook Membership Call-in Forum Program that will punk your world ->

    TheGirlPie Presents Media Inc LLC Production of (dun-dun-ta-da!):

    Gluten-Free-Shit-Sandwich-In-A-Green-Smoothie Mix, Video AND Live Sex With Angels ~!

    PLUS Free Bonus Spoons, 101 Paper Cups printed with Clever Copy, *AND* a Barf-Bag ~ !
    [ACT NOW to get pictures of Pepto-Bismal emailed PERSONALLY to you, every! Single! Day!]

    Curse you, Sarah Bray and your “glowing heart” — I coulda been HUGE if it weren’t for your meddling… curses… I’m melting… melting…

    Loooove,
    ~GirlPie
    @TheGirlPie´s last blog ..TheGirlPie: @NaomiNiles You’d be overwhelmed by the flood of dimes ~ ! (Ba-room-chik! Thenkyew, thenkyew!)

  14. Shannon Garcia
    June 9, 2010 | 1:26 pm

    A-freaking-men.

    I came here to post that, and then saw Mark beat me to it, right at the top. I think we’re all feeling it, and you are so there.

    My nerdy heart loves the idea of glowing, push-button hearts. Can that become a Thinkgeek shirt?
    Shannon Garcia´s last blog ..The Fall of Helen Thomas

  15. Bahiehk
    June 10, 2010 | 3:09 pm

    This is freaking amazing Sarah!!!
    It is exactly what I needed to hear.
    It is educational and enlightening. And I love the vision you have of where this whole movement should go…
    thanks! xoxox

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