I have a confession to make: I have never been to a conference. Not ever. This weekend’s 99% Conference will be my first one. And the only reason that I’m going to that is because Gwen and Kelly pledged to be my roomies.
And while I’m making confessions, I might as well admit that I’ve never been to NYC. My friend Fern says I just have to know what I’m doing, which is next to impossible if you’ve ever met me (I’m the girl that smiles at everyone at Target, in the parking lot, in the movie theatre. Everyone.) I try to be cool, but it just isn’t possible. I am genuinely…smiley.
While I was staring at the giant letters on my to-do list that said “START PACKING”, I became quite overwhelmed. So I did what any analytical nerdy web worker would do: I procrastinated did my research. I read blog posts far and wide to try and figure out what I’m getting myself into and how to make the most of it. In doing so, I discovered some pretty interesting perspectives on conference-going, which I’ve boiled down into 14 possible truths (I’ll have to rely on you experienced conference-goers to tell me if they’re actually true).
Things that are possibly true about conferences
- Conferences are great for burned-out pastors who have no friends
- For maximum enjoyment, do more friend-making and less session-watching (I hear this one a lot, so it must be true)
- Conferences might not be for those who like things quiet and simple (uh-oh)
- Staying with a group of friends is a good idea (yay)
- No other conference will have a badge as cool as these
- The idea-generation conferences produce is like drinking from a fire hose
- People have different ideas about whether or not it’s polite to tweet during a session
- The best conferences are anti-conferences
- On the other hand, you can give yourself permission to handle any conference however you want
- Never ask people what they do
- Self-promo can kill a panel (among other things)
- Conferences aren’t for creative indulgence; they’re ultimately for taking action
- The conversations are everything
- You can’t do everything; focus on the best ideas and table the rest
Lots of good stuff there. Questions that I did not find the answer to:
- What happens if the cab driver takes me the loooong way?
- What if I clam up and can’t think of anything interesting to say?
- How am I going to possibly stand being away from my 8 week old for 2.5 days?
- Do I need to plan meetups with people ahead of time? Or is that lame and un-spontaneous?
- What kind of tweeting/sharing will be useful, fun and not extremely annoying during this thing?
- OH MY GOSH I HAVE NO ELEVATOR PITCH
I am not at all anxious about this. Umm.
Everyone worries about the cab driver/loooong way thing in a new city. Not sure what the solution is but it isn’t fatal.
Yes, plan some meetups beforehand. If there are people you would like to meet that will be at the conference it would be crazy not to. One of the great things about conferences is precisely this ability to get together with people you don’t normally see face to face.
I read something recently that suggested that if you are tweeting what’s going on in a session you are engaging. If the presenter takes offense, that’s their problem. But think about whether tweeting is the best way for you to engage. You might want to doodle, take notes, compose questions (whether you ask them or not). Or figure out what you want to say to this amazing person afterwards
Your elevator pitch (ewww, ick) is basically something that keeps the conversation flowing. If this is someone you could have a really good convo about web design or running a biz or whatever with, you’ll figure out what to say. That smiley thing will help.
On missing your baby… I find that when in a place you’ve never been with the kid, and where there isn’t really anything that makes you go “Oh, kid would love this”, you don’t really notice. You’ll miss her in the evenings, and at mealtimes and stuff. But when you are working, it might not even come up. Don’t feel guilty about not missing her if you don’t. And don’t feel bad if you do miss her, either. It’ll be what it is.
On the taxi thing, are you sure it isn’t fatal? Because I’m thinking it could be. Under the right circumstances.
I hear you on the elevator pitch thing. I’ve never put effort into having one because I find it utterly ridiculous to try and say what I do in a convoluted way. The usual formula makes me sound like this:
“So what do you do?”
“Oh, you know how people’s websites sometimes suck?”
“Yeah…”
“And you know how the economy also sucks and most businesses are struggling to stay alive?”
“Sure”
“Well, I’ve found a correlation between those two things. So I un-suck websites, ergo un-sucking businesses.”
“Oh, so you’re a web designer.”
“NO. Didn’t you hear what I just said? I am a web and business un-sucker.”
[crickets]
Though I haven’t been to a conference in a bazillion years, over and over I have heard folks say that planning to meet-up is essential to hooking up with folks you really want to see.
Good luck in NYC.
Oh, little dude! Your first conference—I’m so excited for you!
Elevator pitches are SO 2006. I’ve gotten far (or arguably, not) by brushing aside questions as to what it is that I do with a breezy “As little as possible—what do YOU do?” Remember, questions are your friends! (Esp. when you feel like not doing the talking.) Of course you can give a straight answer if you like. Just know that in this situation, as in all past the age of 18, you are the boss of you.
As to planning, the same rule applies. Personally, I find that planning one nice meetup per day with someone I really, really want to see works. Maybe two. After that, let fate (and your need for rest/food/companionship, as applicable) take you where you want to go.
Cab drivers? Enh. Like @JoVE sez, even if it does happen, it ain’t the end of the world.
Oh, and NYC is awesome. I am the dorkiest, most gullible rube on the planet and I made it through 3 years there. Back in the 1980s, when it was grubby. New Yorkers are gruff, but they’re decent and straightforward. L.A., with its sunny surfaces and dark, Day-of-the-Locust interiors, is what will destroy you.
Have an awesome, awesome time and report back!
Thank you! Eating up your advice like cotton candy. Or rather, caramels (I like them better).
If someone answered the “what do you do?” question with “as little as possible”, they would earn my undying love and affection.
For NYC: the app HopStop is awesome. Gives you walking & public transport directions so you don’t have to stare at subway maps like a goon. Beware: does not refresh underground!
On it, Laura. Thanks!
I love your elevator pitch story. Anyone who responds to that with “so you’re a web designer” is clearly someone who is trying to put you in a box NOT have a conversation. Ergo, a waste of your time to keep talking with them. I suggest responding to those with “Yeah, something like that.” and then wandering off.
The people who go “Oh, that’s so cool.” are worth sitting down and having coffee with. Though I suspect some of those will be more “Oh, like a web designer only better?”
Also, agree about responding to questions with questions. The goal is to have conversations and build relationships. Keep that in mind and you’ll be able to come up with things to say.
And sometimes people ask lame questions because they are nervous and can’t think of what else to say. Adults ask my kid all the time “what grade are you in?” She’s homeschooled so this question is kind of irrelevant BUT what they really want to know is something like “how old are you” or “what are you interested in” and she’s become pretty good at deflecting into a more interesting territory “I’m homeschooled so we don’t do grades, but I’m 13 and really into drama” kind of thing.
The upshot is, don’t dismiss people because they ask lame questions. But don’t assume you have to answer the question they asked. Say whatever you think will help you decide you want a longer conversation with these people. I agree that “as little as possible, what do you do?” is a really good way to to do that
Hi there!!
So excited for you…. your first conference, wowsers
Here’s a few tricks I’ve come up with over the years:
1. Yes it’s good to go with a group. It gives you security and calms all kind of gremlins/worries (will have no one to talk to for 3 days??). But then I use my group of buddies as my ‘base’. Which means I go sit at some sessions on my own and meet new people. And when there’s really no one to talk to… rush back to the buddies!! Also you can make new friends and bring them back to your ‘base’ so they meet more people. (the base)
2. You do meet more people when you are alone. If you are in a group it can be a bit intimidating for people to approach you. But if you are alone and look fairly innocent (like me usually! and like you maybe) they will usually try and start a conversation. (being alone)
3. You don’t need to attend all sessions. No one in fact attends all sessions. I’m sure you’ll find your own ways on how to digest the content and how much to take in… If I take notes I usually use both a pen and a highlighter. As I take notes I highlight the main points because I know I will never ever read through my notes in detail later. I will just browse through and be grateful that I had already filtered the essential info from the rest. (A red pen also works, just circle key words or draw a big obnoxious star). (information digestion).
4. Meeting people. You can’t talk and make meaningful connections with everybody. You’ll be less frustrated if you know this beforehand. I usually make a list of 3 key people I want to connect with and focus on that. And usually I meet tons of other great people by surprise… It’s good to let yourself be open to new discoveries to. (people and such)
5. Most important rule for me!!! If I ever feel like I’ve had too much for the day, I rush back to my room to get some needed rest. I will happily miss a session or even lunch for a nap or some alone time if the need arises. This one took me YEARS to learn. And I remind myself before each conference. Give yourself permission to miss out on stuff if your body-mind-heart need a break. (rest)
And how you will not miss your 8 week old baby?? Oh Lord, I don’t know!! That is a difficult question.
Voila!! Hope that helps. And above all, ENJOY the conference!!!
xox
Oh, Sarah…
I recently had my conference cotillion as well.
I think it helps to consider yourself a debutante, and dress accordingly. Think “flair” (yes, like a waitress at TGIFridays!)
I’ve found that a fabulous or uncommon piece of clothing–either on myself or on others, creates space for compliments and non-stiff interactions. This is my clam-up-proof way to attend conferences from here on out.
And I totally agree with Bahieh, above… remember to sneak away and rest. As an introvert who loves people (and needs my lonesies, too), I can’t recommend this enough. For me, that’s getting outside and taking off shoes and sitting in the grass and listening to the birdies. Naps. Staring at the wall. Eating a hot dog.
Here’s to rockin’ it, meeting the folks you need to meet, and lovin’ up your baby when you return. Let us know how it goes!
-Stella