Sarah J. Bray

Every time I go public with a project, I take a few weeks off to collect myself. I never officially announce it, but it always happens, so I’m embracing it. This time, I took several weeks off from writing to get the Tour de Bliss up and running. I’m pouring a good portion of my creative energy these days into making that experience fantastic (while also building Treacy’s digital nation, contributing to Kelly’s Content Dreamhouse, and working with my brilliant friends Julianne Carson and Jeff Dear on a new book to help non-designers become better visual communicators.)

On top of that, this week I’m heading out to NYC for the 99% conference. I’m slightly terrified. Mainly because I’m taking the train to Newark, arriving in the wee hours of the night, and then taking a taxi to my best friend’s parents’ house in Harrison. I have no idea where any of those places are and am not too keen on walking around New Jersey by myself at 2 in the morning. Who planned this thing anyway? Don’t answer that.

So this is me, dipping my toe into writing publicly again. Dip, dip.

Last year, my company brought in a quarter of a million dollars. This may not be much in the larger context of Business with a capital B, but it’s surreal to me. (Another thing that’s surreal to me…where did all that money go? But that’s another topic for another day.)

So why did I shut down operations and start a new company? Some days I think, God I have no idea. We had more inquiries and work than we could handle. Strategic web design is easy to comprehend, and it’s something that everybody needs. In hindsight, there were so many small tweaks I could have made that would have fixed the running-ourselves-into-the-ground problem (like…unapologetically raising our prices to what they needed to be, for one thing; like…well, I won’t go into all of that; we’d be here all day).

But I believed that I could do better. The beauty of being an entrepreneur is that you’re creating what you want to see in the world. You have the power and possibility to create whatever you want to create. If my business was my own personal utopia…if I was creating this thing, then why wasn’t I creating something amazing? Not just amazing for other people, but amazing for me? Amazing for the people that worked with me?

So I did it. I started over. I figured out exactly how I wanted to work, despite how the industry typically operates, despite what I thought my audience could pay for, and I created a new, deeper way of serving based on that. So now I do two things: I’m building digital nations with A Small Nation, and I’m building my own personal body of work, starting with the Tour de Bliss.

My work is hard to pin down right now. I’m a tour guide to finding digital bliss…who does that? And I build digital nations around meaningful work…what? It makes me a little uncomfortable, even though I defend my right to be an eclectic nomad, designing things that fix problems that I desperately want to solve.

The reason it’s bugging me right now though is because I know the power of being very clear about what you offer. And I like power.

If I stood up right now and pronounced myself the Grand Poobah of Content Strategy, then you would know what to do with that. I would create this whole website around content strategy, I would answer all of your questions, and give you the greatest free tutorials and how-tos. I would write a book. Get high-dollar consulting and speaking gigs. Sell e-books and digital courses. There aren’t many people talking specifically about content strategy (and no one who thinks about it the way I do), so I would be meeting a very clear need in the marketplace. I would have a strong platform to do whatever I wanted…well, under the umbrella of content strategy anyway.

Instead, I choose to make things that “solve problems”. Which is a terrible positioning statement. It’s like saying you “do things”. If one of my clients said they wanted to build a nation around that, I would say…you’re doing this the long, hard, stupid way. Please be nice to yourself and stop.

But I do it anyway.

In my heart, I’m a designer. Even though I don’t live up to my own design standards (I have a short-list all the way to California of designers I envy), even though I declared myself no longer a designer (because I’m never ever satisfied with my work), everything I do is based around finding new ways to solve problems. And that’s what designers do. I have as good a chance of abdicating my designer role as I have of swearing off buttered toast.

Business is about one thing: offering something that people need. Bonus points if they already know they need it without any convincing. Extra bonus sparklepoints if they’re discovering the offer at the exact moment that they desperately perceive their need. That’s it. Everything else is just…icing. And probably even getting in the way.

There’s a word for this everything-else-getting-in-the-way: inefficiency. And that is one of the flying objects that I’m currently working on as I enter this Tour de Bliss on Monday. (A flying object, by the way, is something that keeps hitting you over the head in your business. Something that hurts. Something that feels random and unavoidable but isn’t.)

If I am a go-between for the products and services I offer, there is a layer of friction there. For example, people come to me right now because of who I am as a person. They’ve heard about me, or we’ve had some kind of interaction or relationship. They don’t so much care about the business that I’m in, because I have positioned myself as a person who “does things”. They’re happy when I do offer something, because it’s always big and interesting and inspiring, but they didn’t come to me expressly to buy it. In fact, they have no idea what I’m offering next.

That’s inefficiency.

Inefficient isn’t always terrible…there is a certain amount of inefficiency built in if you’re going to be an artist. But in business, inefficiency is costing you money. Know that. Be deliberate about your inefficiencies.

I’m still not sure what to do about all the inefficiencies I’ve unintentionally introduced as I’ve created these things I wanted to see in the world. My plan is to keep observing and serving. And also, at least temporarily, embrace doing things the long, hard, stupid way.

Because when you’re doing something that you know isn’t the best way to be doing it and everything still happens just like you hoped it would? Well, there’s magic and wildness in the kind of faith that stirs up. It proves that business is more art than science, which is why I keep coming back for more.

(P.S. Today’s the last day to sign up for the group Tour de Bliss, and there are only 2 spots left. If you’re coming, register here.)

Man, this video that Julianne put together is cracking me up. I need to stop making videos like this, or you’re going to think this is how I am in real life.

(Sidenote: There are 2 spots left in the group tour; if you’re thinking about joining us, now’s the time)

I wrote the following post three weeks ago. I didn’t publish it, because I didn’t have permission yet to quote Jessica’s letter (I do now). Looking back on it now, I think it’s pretty funny that my arbitrary deadlines mean so much to me. I’m sure no one else thought twice that “Oh, Sarah’s launching this a week later than she said she would.” Really? Nobody cares.

It’s a good reminder that some (most?) things are Not A Big Deal; especially when they most seem like they are.

I know, I know…just ship it. Get it out there, even if it’s not perfect. Launch early. Launch often. Don’t let your perfectionism get in the way of your success.

Gah.

Well, I’m releasing a free pre-departure getaway on Monday as a pre-quel to the Tour de Bliss [note: it has since been released here]. This has been the most intense product development process I have ever been through. I have written and re-written and re-written. I have recorded and re-recorded. There are bits that I was in love with at first that I threw out entirely. I have trashed some god-awful code and re-hacked it.

Some of this has felt unproductive. But mostly, I’m proud. I’m proud that I care so much. And I’m proud that I’m not releasing something that is just there because of a deadline I made for myself.

I got a letter today from Jessica Albon (a real, live physical letter!) that re-affirmed my decision to wait to release this until it is ready. I’m going to share one thing that she said (with her permission), because I think it is for all of us:

“And may your project continue to unfold in marvelous, inspired ways – I know that can be frustrating in a world of shipped, half-finished ideas, but ultimately, it’s worth it, I think. – Jessica Albon

Yes. May your project (and mine) do exactly that.

“Put yourself out there and give yourself permission to suck. That’s not to say you should try to suck, but you have to give yourself permission to allow for the possibility of sucking. Without sucking, you’re never going to find your boundaries, and you’ll never push through those boundaries. That’s all it is. Constantly bumping into walls you do not think you can climb and then climbing until you get over them. There’s no mystery to it, no magic. It’s about dedication and constantly trying to improve.” Michael Ian Black, The Rumpus Interview, [via Buster Benson]

I got an email a couple of weeks ago that made me cringe. There were a few low-lying jabs that felt like veiled assumptions about my character and business sense, but the overall gist of it was attempting to be constructive.

I spent half an hour deciding how I felt about it, and I finally came to the conclusion that it didn’t really matter. Creativity can’t happen in a place where you don’t feel free to suck sometimes. And if you’re on an even remotely public platform, you have to feel free to suck…publicly.

Whether I suck or I don’t suck isn’t really the issue (and for the record, I’m pretty sure I don’t suck; at least not any more than anyone else). But you know? I have permission to suck. We all do. And if that means I get to try things that end up on the opposite end of the sucking spectrum, I’m going to use mine without apologizing for it.

(Oh yeah…and today’s the last day to register for the Tour de Bliss before the price goes up. Trying to avoid tons of last-minute registrations this time around.)